Okay,  I know, I’m a book reviewer.  That’s what my blog is all about.  But I warned you, occasionally I will digress.  There is actually more to me than books.  Much more, well maybe not MUCH more.   But, every now and then I have to rant.  Today is that day.

I have Meniere’s Disease.  It will not kill me.  Some days,  I question that.

Meniere’s is a disease of the inner ear, causing dizziness, vertigo, tinnitus, ear fullness, and deafness.  You can have it in one ear or both ears.  You can have the symptoms daily or every 6 months.  You never know when it is going to hit.  You can do everything right, and still be on the floor hugging the toilet.  Drop attacks are not unheard of.

I know that if I have too much salt, within 15 minutes my ears are plugged  — it’s a little like going up or down a steep hill in a car, only not being able to “pop” your ears back open.  Stress, of course, is forbidden.  I can no longer ride in a car for more than about half an hour.  Traffic going by throws me off, and the buffeting of the car makes me dizzy.  East winds blow my whole world off kilter.  Low barometric pressures bring on dizziness.  High barometric pressures bring on headaches.  For some unknown reason, I am worse in high humidity.  Sunlight moving through the trees is dangerous.  Busy carpets should be abolished.  Uneven ground was not meant to be walked upon.  Fluorescent lights are a nightmare.  Shopping without a cart is dangerous to me and my surroundings.  Big box stores have the worst lighting imaginable.    Restaurants are too busy, and their lighting sucks.  Movies theaters do not entertain me.  Music has become an annoyance, the base goes through me til I want to scream.  Too many people, too much noise….just lead me to my bed now.

I miss a lot of events.   No, it is not because I am lazy or because I don’t like you.

But it could be sooooo much worse.  Thankfully, my triggers do not include chocolate or coffee.   I’ve become great at predicting weather changes two days before it happens!  Yes, I’m dizzy at some point every day, but true vertigo occurs only every few of months.  Yes, my tinnitus and ear fullness hits almost every day, but I’m not deaf yet.   I am lucky.  There are so many people who have this terrible disease much worse than I do, and there are so many people with diseases much worse than mine.

There are so many things I enjoy.  Reading.  Sitting out by the pool.  Reading.  Playing with our rescue pups. Reading.  Watching television, playing games, etc. with my husband.  Reading.  Writing book reviews.  Did I mention reading?  Meniere’s does NOT affect all aspects of my life.  It can’t.

These are the things I try to remember when I’m having my pity party….like today.